A PIG A SWEATER & AN OPEN MIKE

The open mike captured Our President's gauche incompetence disguised as fraternity house banter and also captured the supplicant toad Mr. Blair ineptly imploring the Organ Grinder to dispatch the Prime Minister of The Royal British Empire to the region preceding Condi Rice's impending failure to effectively stop the latest violent shambles of the Roadmap to Peace-- Were innocents not being ruthlessly dismembered in the most recent Middle East meat grinder the lackadaisical fratboy banter passing for World Leadership and Diplomacy in Action would be a most amusing and hysterical self-parody even Saturday Night Live at its best would be hard pressed to match but.... Barking at who is later surmised to be Chinese Premiere Hu as though he was frat-bro Flounder going home for spring break ('Hey, you've got a big country too.') our Commander in Chief( for the next two and a half years) seems rather pleased with himself for having digested not the roast pig he yearned for in the summit's run-up but a genuine authentic lesson in world geography which obviously rendered the G8 confab not a meaningless photo-op flop but a gleaming educational success for boy-wonder-- The Leader of the Free World when it was his turn to step into the breach of genuine world crisis attempts to pass the buck to Kofi Annan to call Syria and get their leader to 'make something happen.'-- The Affable Prepster banters with his British poodle about his gift of a sweater (Who said this Emperor has no clothes?) and about someone who Bush finds 'really sweet' to which Blair replies ' Oh, yeah. He is honey.'--Hmm!--The prequel to Brokeback Anthill: How The West Was Lost ?-- How a five day military excursion into the mouth of Islam's central oil heartlands fails to meet its beamingly liberated masses and instead opts for the success of a headlong lunge into on-the-cheap on-the-run nation-building, complete military standstill, economic ruin and the inchoate end of the just a short while ago nascentEmpire--'Just Wait,' the little emperor intones the recently resurrect Czar of the Newly Oil Rich Russian Empire Vlad Putin as if like a Hollywood cliffhanger just when Iraq's internecine descent into starkly violent madness and absolute darkness of civil war is all but a fait accompli all of the umpteen insurgent sectarian militias devouring each other and us suddenly share the idyllic light of the glorious neocon epiphany of a blithely re-made Middle East and all lay down their swords and bow to the supremely delusional Son of the Empire and his mirage--In Das Golden Agen plowshares like roasted pig and Diet Coke flew from their DVD's-- The Middle East will never be like Mayberry RFD but if Hollywood could make us believe it be so guess who gets to play the role of Opie?-- 'JUST WAIT,' YOU'LL SEE--